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[psychometries]

@ scraprat

"Hey, it's Cal. Leave a message."

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[psychometries]

I'll find her.

[ Maybe that's an empty promise to make, since any Jedi who managed to survive the Purge must have gone deep to ground to avoid the Inquisitors. But Cere managed to find him, so they might be able to find Ahsoka. ]

Who knows? Maybe the Force will help us find each other.

[unrepentant]

Maybe it will.

[How does he articulate what those words do to him? Anakin remembers feeling her leave Corusant, knowing that there wasn't a goodbye and knowing that he had a chance to stop her- but didn't.

He wants to believe that they'll see each other again.
In the silence Anakin rereads the words, and finds himself leaning towards the place where their training bond once existed. Ahsoka.]

When you do, will you tell her something for me?

Tell her I'm proud of her.
And that she did the right thing.

[psychometries]

I will.

[ This is text, but there's a solemn weight to his promise. Now that Anakin mentioned Ahsoka by name, it seems to spark some recognition in him—some hazy memory about a Padawan bombing the Temple and being put on trial.

There's a short gap of time before his new message comes—he almost wasn't going to ask, but he won't be offended if Anakin doesn't answer. ]

You don't think you'll be able to tell her yourself?

[unrepentant]

[No. The truth is so horribly simple.
Besides, he thinks, If Obi-Wan doesn't know where I am, then I probably don't make it.]

She

left the Order.
I haven't seen her in a long time.

[psychometries]

[ Left the Order. Cal didn't even think that such a thing was possible—no, it's possible, just... it almost never happens. ]

Why did she leave?

[unrepentant]

[There was a time that he woul've turned away from it. That he would've said it's complicated and nothing more. But he remembers the way he felt watching her walk away, the way that her parting words have haunted him ever since.]

We didn't give her any other choice.

The Council betrayed her trust.

They didn't even apologize after casting her out and realizing their mistake. They told her she'd passed her great trial and was a true Jedi all along. They asked her back, as if they hadn't abandoned her in the first place.

boo

[psychometries]

[ He was so young when the Order fell. Innocent. He only ever saw an idealized version of the Order, through the eyes of a child, its successes and strengths—not its weaknesses and mistakes.

So he's... not shocked, exactly, but surprised by this account. ]

The Council did that?

[unrepentant]

It broke her heart

[And mine.]

[psychometries]

Why would they do that, though?

It was their mistake.

[ oh sweet summer child ]

[unrepentant]

They thought they were making it right maybe.


When she declined they were so quick to say it was her emotions getting the better of her. As if she wasn't allowed to feel hurt. As if some things don't leave a scar.

[psychometries]

I'm sorry.

About what happened.

[unrepentant]

[It's strange how seeing those words makes the whole of him seize up, locks him up in ice.]

No

No

I'm sorry, you don't have anything to apologize for. I shouldn't have said all of that. It isn't appropriate for a Jedi Knight.


My sincerest apologies, Master Kestis.

[psychometries]

[ Now he feels like he said something terribly wrong. Master Kestis? Who's that? ]

Wait, what are you apologizing for?

What's wrong?

[unrepentant]

Its wrong of me to speak this way about the Order. Airing grievances like this makes it clear that I have much to meditate on, and that I've been negligent in releasing such emotions into the Force.

I'm very sorry to have burdened you with my irresponsibility.

[psychometries]

I don't think it's wrong.

[ He types and retypes this next part a couple times, so it takes a moment. ]

If we want to rebuild the Order, then we have to talk about the things it did wrong.

So we can fix them.

[unrepentant]

[Silence reigns for a long time.
And then-]


I've never seen the Order do that.

I don't know if it can.

[psychometries]

The Order is gone now.

[ It looks very harsh, typed out like that. But he fought very hard to accept that harsh truth, to make peace with it, so he doesn't regret it. ]

It has to.

We have to.